ytd receive email for admin saying that today or tml you will like to attend a video click.
is compulory. this morning i jus saw it.
asking my colleague "did u receive the email from angie"
colleague"yes"
KT "when u going?"
colleague"today we go, you go tml cos cant go tgt?"
they didnt even ask me whether wana join them and im new to this co, new to everyone....
ard 11am all went to attend it...
left the directors manager never go... tml then they will attend..
feeling so down...
call my mum... she cant heard properly how im talking...
asking "are you alright? wat happen to you?" i cant heard you
"you msg me and tell me"... hearding my mum's voice...
kt break down...
went to the toilet n msg my mum... tears roll down... feeling uncomfortable...
im strong ... but im nt that strong....
back to office... smile at them when they are back.. pretending nothing happen...
few mins later.. mum call back.. this time i hold back my tears.. changing topic and cool downn...
lunching with honey today.. he was on MC..
he makes me smile...
back to office is like a hell to me..
giving you those stuff you still nt know it very well... is nt one or two.. is keep coming ...
never ask you "are you busy can i pass to you" they are busy they throw everything to you...
when kt is busy.. no one help.. getting rates next door at 9am n 11.30am..
when busy... need to rush n get it.. they will say "you must rmb to go n take the rates"
looking at the email doesnt know wat is it abt...
asking colleague..
kt "can u help me see wat the email is abt?"
colleague "you must read... you must understand"
kt nt understand that's ask..
manager always say.. "you dun know you dun understand you must ask"
i really dun understand ...
i ask a few times... colleauge dun really wan to say..
colleagues took documents from my desk without telling me..
whn i came back the next day or after lunch.. i cant find it n saw it on her desk..
they also took my documents without informating me and i thought is lost..
working this job makes my memory easy forget...
when babe called me when im still in the office i feel like chatting with her...
but.. my office very hard to check..
you feel very uneasy at there..ppl spy at you.. looking wat're you doing..
looking at the screen of your monitor too... placing of documents on the table colleauge care so much too..
after work return babe's call.. wana tell her how i feel but i dunno how to say... tears going forward again when wana tell her but i hold back n change topic.. cooling down myself..
return cousin call when i reach home.. tears drop when telling her abit of my job..
mum nt at home...brother nt at home...honey in camp...
staying in the there one day is like staying in hell for 1month.. time very slow..
how much you nt happy working you still must smile at them...
no one knows how kt feel..
how long more can kt hold...
no more kt's laughter from the office
no more kt's joke in the office
no more kt's update news
no more kt's chit-chatting sessions in the office
no more kt's phone call from the office
din with my girls last night
lunch today with honey
heavy eye bags
honey makes me smile
